Sunday, September 18, 2016

PTSD, Marriage and House Guests


    When having a houseguest, a person always wants to make sure that their guest feels wanted and has an excellent time. Is this how someone with PTSD sees it? Will something trigger the PTSD anger side to come out? Will I be embarrassed or be able to explain to the person what the upset is or will I even know? Questions are always going through a spouse & family member’s head in regards to how they will handle a situation.
     Living with someone that has PTSD is not always the life we have built up in our heads, but it's our life, the one I chose and vowed to live. When a person takes the vows in their marriage even if PTSD signs were not there, however, Sickness and Health was. There are ways to work around the good, bad, and ugly of PTSD in a marriage. You have to be a willing partner and not expect a lot back from the other partner. Marriage is hard work but when there is something that is mentally wrong with a partner it is extremely hard work. Choosing to fight or flight is then at a test. Some leave and some stay to fight the battle.
     My partner and I have had a whirlwind this past year. Our twenty – three-year-old son moved in, then I started a new job working four tens a week, my sister moved in and then the in-laws came to visit. We were all in the same house at the same time.   These events were not the greatest for my husband (who did an outstanding job with his temper) but were hard, to say the least. I could tell by looking at him that he was not the happiest or biting his tongue to keep civil.
    My hours were horrible; my boss did not listen when I asked for study hours due to my husband's PTSD. The manager continued to say certain things that made it even worse and that he did not even begin to understand PTSD. I needed to find a steady job that would work for us both. Life would not move outside of the angle it was going, and we both would not be happy, had I not listen to what the counselor said or what my husband's needs were.
     Life is not comfortable in a regular relationship but when you have PTSD involved it gets a whole lot harder. Knowing now what I do would we still have married? I fell in love with this man in nineteen ninety-one, Heck yes, this man is the most caring, lovable, kind person I meant then but as time moved forward and life kept hitting him with terrible moments he fell deep into his hidden self.  PTSD not his fault but how he dealt with the issues. Then they piled up and now PTSD is a part of our lives.

     A regular life and a life with PTSD still takes time and patience with hard work from both parties. No one knows how long your job is cut out to take, but it is all about the journey, the commitment, and love you feel for each other that make it worth going through together. 

See more post @ www.PTSDPartners.com

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